If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say?
Honestly? My high school experience was hell so I'd babble the following in a rush and hope I take some of it in! :)
"Stop crying! Wipe those tears! Straighten your back and walk with your head held high! Oh and stop trying to starve yourself! These people surrounding you don't matter. They don't care about you so why do you care what they say or think? Quit putting so much on your shoulders and in your head that your're running for a way out.. you're running in the wrong direction! I promise things will get better!
That child that just yelled an insult, the boy who throws pens & stones at you everyday after school, that girl who said you should be dead for how you look, that boy that keeps doing evil things, is too wrapped up in their own boring life so they pick on yours. So what? You have bright ginger hair, you are not the skinniest person in the world. You have OCD and are incredibly annoying! At the weekend you have book-hangovers not alcohol infueled hangovers but none of that gives someone the right to say you shouldn't be here because of your personal uniqness!
I agree, you are going to make some terible decisions I would know. That boy isn't going to really care about you but befriending him will make you happy. That girl is a right bitch.. but you'll choose her anyway! Stop fighting so much with your head and stop putting so much pressure on yourself! You are young and you will need to forgive yourself!
Most importantly stop lying about how you really feel! Yeah you're struggling and need some guidence so accept help from the people around you and speak out! Speak about how you're feeling and stop yourself from getting to that extreme low point where you can't get back up!
Believe me when I tell you those people will fuck up your life in years if you don't put a stop to it now! Why are you missing school for some twerp who says you're fat? He probably can't even tie his own shoe laces!
So stop right now, Focus on what you want, need and love and do everything in you're power to make it happen... You'll be unpredictiable for a year but things do get better.. a few dreams even come true.. trust me I've lived them!" ;)
AND....... deep breath! Phew! Writing that post has sort of made my head clearer! I'm so glad I took part in this!
What about you? What would your conversation involve?
This post is amazingly powerful. I am so glad you shared it.
ReplyDeleteI so know, I really do. For me, high school was not that bad, but I put myself through the mindset of not being enough through so many different years of my life that I can totally feel you and relate. Thanks for being brave enough to put yourself out there like this.
For the record, it does get better. I, too had a horrible time in high school. It took moving a few times and replacing absolutely all of my friends, but I'm on the other side now. And by the way, I was 23 or 24 before I did. So don't ever feel like the way you are is the way you will be stuck forever. The teenage years and your early twenties are a time of great transition. Things will change.
ReplyDeleteMy high school was terrible as well. I was overweight, have acne, and was an awkward girl. I was also a nerd/geek, and hung out with others like me as well. While my time in junior high was probably the worst, high school could have been better. I wasn't made fun of quite as often, but I just wanted to be accepted by my peers. I would see couples, and my heart would ache to be like them, knowing it would never happen until I graduated and turned into a swan.
ReplyDeleteI won't go into the rest of the details (unless you want to a book-long story), but I eventually turned into a swan (at least by my standards).
I definitely want to thank you for sharing this with us. It was a beautiful post full of emotion you hardly see on blogs any more!