I have contemplated writing this for some time and now I've decided that I need to in order for everyone out there to know that body shaming is not okay and it is not accepted by anyone, in the end it just ends up reflecting negatively on you.
Liam and I were out before Christmas enjoying a meal in one our favourite local restaurants. We've been going to this place for awhile and the staff are so friendly often we find ourselves chatting away.
This one particular night I was attempting to get hints about my Christmas presents from him and in general, we were in our own little world waiting for our meal settling into the seasonal atmosphere around us.
A little further down from us and on the opposite side these two ladies were enjoying their night. I wasn't looking or nosying not that I should have to explain myself but you know yourself you glance around every so often it's human nature we do this!
I was leaning on the table hand on my head when this man was approaching and spoke to the two women that they looked lovely and sexy including something about Christmas. I looked at my partner and said someones jolly and we both smiled, we were happy and it was so nice to witness people enjoying a Friday night out getting festively drunk, having a meal on your own or with someone without any negativity...
That fleeting thought was too quick though as when the man walked past our table he stopped and before I could turn round said 'so do you ya big fat bas**rd* my mouth was agape with shock that someone would say this. This wasn't a compliment to me. Whether those two women took it a compliment to them is their business but to me, I was immediately uncomfortable and as I looked him directly in the eye after saying this he carried on walking out to the smoking area.
Embarrassment flooded me but just as quickly had I turned my head I could hear the ladies laughing and I am certain they didn't know what had been said to me.
I went and spoke openly to the owner/manager and when I explained what had occurred he was fuming. I was told to go back to my table although before I even got there one of the staff members was ahead of me and heading for the doors to the smoking area.
After around 5 minutes both of them came back and apologised profusely for what I happened although as I explained it wasn't their fault. Their establishment cannot be blamed for the actions of one person.
This man I was told was thrown out and will never darken their doorsteps again as that's not how they want anyone to be treated and it was disrespectful. I will never forget how lovely they were and how much anger one had for what had transpired that evening, even when we leaving they still apologised and it wasn't their place too.
The thing is when I turned my head and looked directly into the eyes of the man who had uttered those words recollection shone on his face. We had gone to High School together. My age, my year at school, 24 Years old and this is the way he speaks to women?
9 years on from playground tittle-tattle, bullying and body shaming still exists although how I respond to it is different than when I was a teenager. I've grown up and I look at myself as a kind, helpful woman (girl - woman makes me sound older) that wouldn't speak a bad word about anyone. I'm not perfect nobody is although when there's so much anger and hatred in the world whatever words or actions are said towards us we have to look beyond it and not let it reflect into us and push positivity out.
If you are the man that said this to me and you're reading it now, I hope you don't speak those words to anyone again because you don't know what anyone is going through, struggles some have or even if they aren't already suffering without more being shoved in their faces.
I couldn't thank the staff at this restaurant more for their respect towards me and whether he has been back to the establishment again or not won't affect me going as I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. After that, I had a lovely dinner as always with Liam and we went home to enjoy more time together as I still tried to hunt for present clues.
How do you deal with body shaming? What would you have done different in this situation? Let me know in the comments below.
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